Being patient= bearing pain or trial without complaint. Is that something you do? Cuz I sure don't. I hate trials and get so mad so easily and then feel guilty for getting so angry afterwards. Yes I am referring to parenting, although there is many other areas where I loose my patience as well.
My sweet girl, Noni is almost a year old and is getting to be quite a handful. She has been very active and determined since day 1 and is getting smarter and smarter so therefore even more determined. Its so cute to see her learn new things but with that comes new challenges. Discipline. Uh I dont like the subject because I dont know how I feel about it yet. I've been raised with the idea that spanking is biblical and neccessary inorder to teach children to obey their parents. But now in all my literature, even christian literature, I have found out other perspectives of scripture and I just don't know what to do. I talked to Peter about it a little but he said he needs more proof. And right now I don't have it and don't really care to look. But it is getting close to the point where I need to know where we stand on the issue because its come up with other family members. I just dont know. I do loose my patience with Nonah already and dont know how its going to go as she gets older. I seriously dont even want to think about it right now but need to. So if anyone has some good solid info on the whole spanking thing Ill take it.
The other thing is Nonah is so clingy right now. I am still que feeding and co-sleeping with her nursing off and on all night which I love and chose to do for attachment and emotional reasons. I would not change that for anything. BUT Im now starting to experience the whole "touched out" thing Ive heard alot of moms talk about. I just need space. I love her hugs and kisses and cuddles but man sometimes I just want to be left alone. I am looking into how to gently night wean but am not totally willing to do it yet so maybe soon. I dont know Im at the point of wanting a change but not sure how to make that change without totally rocking Nonahs world.
I still feel a bit condemed at times by family because of their little comments and I just know where they stand on the whole breastfeeding/co-sleeping thing. I sometimes hate being different but Im not going to change what I believe is right for my child just to be considered normal to my family. I have chosen this style of parenting because it feels right for me and Peter and Nonah and thats what is all that matters. Just writing this down and thinking through it is helping feel better about it. Sometimes I just get down about not being understood by people.
Im sill learning and who knows maybe with the next child we will change this up but for now we are doing the best we can with what we have and what we know.
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