The Beauty of Breastfeeding~

So my girl is a year now as you know and yes I am still nursing. I knew the question was coming but I didn't know who or when. Well last night it came. My father in law asked me last night, "how long do you plan on nursing."
She was about 3 or 4 months in this pic.

I just love breastfeeding so much. I had some pain the first couple of days but once my milk came in it has been amazing ever since. (well a few biting inicidents but we pushed through) I had heard a lot of disapointing and negative things about it before I had Nonah but my mom and a few others were very encouraging. She nursed twins til 7 or 8 months. She was very posiive about it. I knew I was going to breastfeed no matter what. I didn't know how long I was going to nurse and when I first heard of people nursing to 2 or 3 years old I was totally unsure. I did not think I would nurse more than year but now that Im at the one year mark there is NO way I could just stop. Why should I...because its not the norm to go past a year? Like there is a magic number where it is inappropriate for our breasts to be used what they were meant for. I just have a totally different perspective on things now that I have had a baby. There are so many things that when I was young and "dumb" I said I would never do once I had kids but I am now doing them. You just really can't give an opinion on something if you have not experienced it yourself.

It is such a beautiful thing to look down and see your little one looking up at you, dosing off, or just at peace. In that moment you are physically as close as you can possibly be physically and mentally I believe. I love nurturing her every need. Its incredibly amazing and so beautiful. If you are a nuring mama you know exactly what I mean.

My baby girl loves it too and she gets happy and giddy when she sees them and calms down immediatly. She obviously is growing well and as healthy as can be so we will continue doing things the way we're doing them.

So because of all the benefits, the convenience, and the amazing joy and happiness that come from it my Noni will nurse until she is ready to be done.
Taking a break.

My Birthday girls birth story!

I wanted to share Nonis birth story here but I wrote so much more about her and her day at my other blog so feel free to check that out HERE! She rocks my world and this day will always be so special to me! Enjoy our story!

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Peter and I could not have been more ready for the birth of our first child. Everything was done that needed to be done and all we could think about was holding our little baby in our arms. My due date came and went and all we could do was wait in wonder of when the day would come. One week and a day past my due date my midwife Kate came to see me for my usual check up. I was barely a centimeter dilated. The rest of the day I had some sporadic contractions. Then at about 6pm they started to come more frequent. At 8pm we started to time them and they were about every 5-8 min. So we called Kate to let her know and she said to try and get some sleep while I could. I was way too excited and nervous to sleep. I thought “this is it, the time has come, wow can I do this?”

By morning the contractions had lessened and were very sporadic. Peter made me some breakfast and we called Kate. She said to do the usual things to bring on labor. Walk and ya know. So that we did and then just waited. And waited and waited. I tried to rest but it was hard. With twenty four plus hours of contractions there was a lot of time to think and I was feeling all kinds of emotions. Confused, anxious, nervous, excited, scared, happy. I tried to focus on the positive, “my body knows what its doing, baby will come when it’s ready, I need this time to prepare,” etc. I also tried to not think about it at all and just watched a few movies and read. My husband served me every meal which was so nice and we walked a lot. I tried nipple stimulation and even ate some hot sauce straight up. The contractions were every 4 to 10 min apart all day. Then on Thursday throughout the day the contractions began to last longer and slowly got much stronger. They were 3-5 min apart and lasted 50-70 seconds. I tried to get some sleep and just couldn’t because I was so uncomfortable. So we called Kate.

Her and Jill came at 10 pm and checked me and I was only 2 cm and fully effaced. She said next step is to either walk or sleep and since I already tried to sleep we decided to walk. Peter and I walked around our yard talking about what its going to be like once this little one is here and how ready we were, pausing between contractions. We walked for an hour or two and then I tried to rest. Some how I was able to rest between contractions which were very strong. I sat upright on a recliner with pillows everywhere. Peter took a little nap in bed and I got myself some yogurt. Kate checked on the babies heart rate every now and then and at some point Peter and Kate worked on filling the aqua doula. At 6am Kate checked me again and I was 6cm dilated. We decided to break my water in order to progress quicker. By 7am labor was in full force. Every position was uncomfortable and there was pressure every where. So it was time to get in the aqua doula.

The aqua doula relieved the pressure and felt wonderful. I still felt the contractions but it definitely helped ease the intensity of them. I rested my neck on the edge of the aqua doula and justed floated in order to relieve the pressure. It felt amazing. Soon after getting in I felt the urge to push and did push a little bit but not full force. Kate told me to do what I felt was right but she couldn’t see anything so if baby’s head was out to let her know. She checked baby’s heart rate and it was up to 180-200 which was too high. The water was too hot for baby so she suggested I get out. I specifically remember saying “oh no” because I didn’t want to move. Eventually I got out but couldn’t go any further so I stood there leaning on Jill for a while and pushed with my contractions. It was tiring to stand so I sat on the birth stool which was actually very comfortable. I pushed and pushed and got to feel the slimy head and so did Peter. Danielle got there at some point and was rubbing my back with a wet wash clothe. I was so sweaty. Peter and Kate were patiently waiting to catch baby and telling me what a good job I was doing. “That’s the way” Kate kept saying. I was in such a zone and didn’t talk to anyone. Or look at anyone. Then the BIG push came, I let out a scream and our sweet little baby fell into Peters hands.

Peter announced that we had a baby girl and I announced her name, Nohah Mae and they handed her to me. Surprisingly I didn’t cry but Peter was a little teary eyed. I just felt so relieved that she was out and so amazed to have her in my arms. I was soo happy. She had swallowed some miconium and wasn’t breathing right so we quickly moved to the bedroom and Kate was checking her out. Kate was a little worried so we had to cut the umbilical cord sooner than planned but the blood had all pumped through so it was ok. Kate gave her some oxygen. Peter laid his hand on her and prayed for her. Jill called our doctor to see if we could bring her in to get checked out. I then held her close to my breast and she latched on all by herself. It was incredible to see my baby nursing for the first time. An hour after she was born she was breathing well and her color became normal. We thankfully did not have to go to the doctor. Nonah was born at 9:04am on Friday August 21st. She was a healthy 10 pounds 1 ounce and 20 ½ in long. After the girls helped Peter clean up and got me a snack they left. Peter and I stared in amazement of our sweet baby girl and then took a nap.

We are so thankful for all that Kate and Jill did to prepare us for a safe, healthy and natural homebirth. I could not imagine giving birth any other way!!!
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I want to write more about my homebirth and how I got to that point. I feel so truly blessed and have been thinking about it since it is Nonis birth day! So amazing, so more to come.

Ideas…Dreams…

These are ideas and dreams I have that Im not sure are from me or from God and I don’t know if they fit in with what Gods plan is for our lives but they are things that I pray about and think about every now and then. They are kind of in the back of my mind so we’ll see!!

I would love to lead a women’s group some day for young woman. Either single or newly married and just encourage, inspire, share with them and be there for them.
I would love to learn more about photography and how to get started doing my own work.
I would love to be a childbirth educator or doula.
I would love to own my own café/boutique. It would be a funky little place in a quaint little town. There would be organic fair trade coffee served and the basic lattes, cappuccinos, some pastries regular and gluten free and fresh juices. Attached to it would be local artists stuff and handmade clothing, jewelery, nick nacks. It’d be called Paisleys or The Paisley Shop. (something like that)
I would love to travel around the country in an RV. Living simply.
I would love to live on the beach or atleast in walking distance, preferably in Hawaii.
I would love to back pack around Europe.
I would love to run an orphanage in Africa.
I would love to back pack the Appalachian trail all the way to Maine with my Petey!

Some are totally practical and some are not in this time of our life but thats why I call them dreams. Some may come true some may not. And there is so many more but these are what came to mind! What are your dreams???

Simplify your perspective!

There seems to be a theme in my life right now…Simplify. I have always been a simple chic I think but here of late its just been on my heart to live even more simple. I was encouraged by other bloggers and their way of living to down size and get rid of stuff that isn’t necessary and since then I feel like there are signs every where telling me to simplify.

Simplifying my home and the way I dress is one thing but also simplifying the way I think, act, and am. Just overall being simple. Ive been reading a book by Hiedi Baker (an amazing woman of God who does mission work in Africa) and all she talks about is how simple it is to do what she does because she is always walking in Gods presence. And when you are in His presence all you can do is love. “He reduced me to the simplicity of love” is what she says and that is where I want to be. Walking with Him in the simplicity of love. Im still exploring what all that means for me in my life but I’ve been so encouraged to seek Him these days. He is what gets me through. She also talks about her ministry and that to simply comfort someone is to be in ministry. To love someone is showing them Jesus. All these things are simple things but so important for the kingdom. This is how I want to live my life, doing simple things for the kingdom. Looking at everyday as an opportunity to love, minister, comfort and do BIG things. It doesn’t matter how big our house is or what brand our clothing is or how much money we have in our bank account if we do not have love!

I don’t know if I explain it very well but this is what God is doing in me. He’s changing me, opening my eyes, and encouraging me in the area of love. His love is so Big and never ending and there is so much to discover about it so I encourage you to ask Him to teach you more about His love. And show someone His love today and tomorrow and everyday. Its simple!!!

Parenting~continued

Just in the few days since I wrote the last post my parenting decisions were challenged again. Not directly but indirectly and it just makes me question, wonder, doubt and fear that Im doing everything wrong. I have to fight those thoughts with all I have because it just destroys me and who I am as a mama. I think Nonah can sense the difference in me as well. Things just dont go as smooth as normal when Im confused or doubting.

This article is exactly what I needed to hear this week. It just goes to show (i think) that God is looking out for me and that I am doing the right thing for our family. Every time Im brought down I either find an encouraging article or another like minded mama who totally brings me back up. Thank you God!

I wish our society would also see it as normal for babies to simply want their mamas all the time. IT IS NORMAL. Theres nothing wrong with it. UH. So frustrating. Anyway. Read and be encouraged.
http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/

Patience and parenting

Being patient= bearing pain or trial without complaint. Is that something you do? Cuz I sure don't. I hate trials and get so mad so easily and then feel guilty for getting so angry afterwards. Yes I am referring to parenting, although there is many other areas where I loose my patience as well.

My sweet girl, Noni is almost a year old and is getting to be quite a handful. She has been very active and determined since day 1 and is getting smarter and smarter so therefore even more determined. Its so cute to see her learn new things but with that comes new challenges. Discipline. Uh I dont like the subject because I dont know how I feel about it yet. I've been raised with the idea that spanking is biblical and neccessary inorder to teach children to obey their parents. But now in all my literature, even christian literature, I have found out other perspectives of scripture and I just don't know what to do. I talked to Peter about it a little but he said he needs more proof. And right now I don't have it and don't really care to look. But it is getting close to the point where I need to know where we stand on the issue because its come up with other family members. I just dont know. I do loose my patience with Nonah already and dont know how its going to go as she gets older. I seriously dont even want to think about it right now but need to. So if anyone has some good solid info on the whole spanking thing Ill take it.

The other thing is Nonah is so clingy right now. I am still que feeding and co-sleeping with her nursing off and on all night which I love and chose to do for attachment and emotional reasons. I would not change that for anything. BUT Im now starting to experience the whole "touched out" thing Ive heard alot of moms talk about. I just need space. I love her hugs and kisses and cuddles but man sometimes I just want to be left alone. I am looking into how to gently night wean but am not totally willing to do it yet so maybe soon. I dont know Im at the point of wanting a change but not sure how to make that change without totally rocking Nonahs world.

I still feel a bit condemed at times by family because of their little comments and I just know where they stand on the whole breastfeeding/co-sleeping thing. I sometimes hate being different but Im not going to change what I believe is right for my child just to be considered normal to my family. I have chosen this style of parenting because it feels right for me and Peter and Nonah and thats what is all that matters. Just writing this down and thinking through it is helping feel better about it. Sometimes I just get down about not being understood by people.

Im sill learning and who knows maybe with the next child we will change this up but for now we are doing the best we can with what we have and what we know.

My Parenting Philosophy

Not really a philosophy, just something I was thinking about today. I heard a statistic a while ago about how much time moms spend playing with their child in a day. Actually sitting down and playing. I don’t remember what it was exactly but something like 30 min or so. In a 24 hour time span that’s not much.

I was in the kitchen a lot today making cookies, stuffed shells, and lentil burgers. Phew…but its hard to do stuff any more with Nonah getting older. She literally follows me around and then pushes on my legs until I stop what Im doing and either pick her up or give her something to do. Its so cute but it can be quite annoying.

Most parents would let them cry or put them in the other room til they were done or maybe put them down for a nap but today I decided to sit down and talk to her a few minutes. So I sat on the kitchen floor and talked to her for a little, hugged her, made her giggle and the next thing I know she’s off to the living room back to her on adventure. Now Im not saying every time she comes to me I stop what Im doing and play with her but every now and then its what we both need in order to get through our day without going insane. What’s it matter if you don’t get every thing on your to do list done? Quality time with your little peanut is so much more important. This time will pass and probably before ya know it. So Im gonna savor my moments on the kitchen floor or in the back yard or wherever and spend as much time as I can with her!!

DREADLOCKS

BEFORE
Yes dreadlocks. I got dreadlocks. Im so thrilled and excited about my beautiful dreads. Now they aren’t that beautiful yet but they will get there. It takes time so I hear. It was about a 2 hour process today. My 2 friends got them started and separated but then when we got home Peter went over them again and really hard core backcombed them to the point where I screamed a few times he was hurting me. Its okay though its worth the pain. My hair is pretty think to begin with so right now my dreads are massive puff balls but sleeping on them should tone them down a bit.
.AFTER
You may be asking WHY? Well I’ve always liked them first of all. Ever since I was young I wanted to be a hippy. Im just drawn to the hippy style and look. I don’t know why but I can’t help it. Its who I am. I guess my mom has something to do with it. But she hates dreads so you can imagine how she felt when I told her I was getting them. Anyway. I always was too scared to get them but then I stumbled across this blog walkslowlylivewildly.com and was totally inspired. She wrote about her dread journey and said that she didn’t want to be 80 and think back to all the things she didn’t do in her life. And it totally connected with me and I was like YEA, You’re right!! Now is the time to do it and hello its just hair. So I’ll chop it off when Im done with them and it’ll grow back. Peter actually wants to see me with a shaved head. I don’t know if we’ll go that far but when the time comes to get rid of the dreads my hair will be pretty darn short. Oh well. That’s a long way off. For now I love my dreads. It will take work and time to get them to the point of truly loving them but Im committed to it. It shall be fun.

I also feel like the dreads are part of my spiritual journey. I don’t want to sound cheesy or new age or anything like that but I seriously feel like I was supposed to get them at this time in my life. God is doing so much in me right now and one thing has to do with my self image. I have confidence and self esteem issues, I always have. Its kind of a girl thing but I think mine is a little extreme. I care a little too much about my looks and what people think of me. And with dreads people have their opinions and they are different but its me and I can’t change them as soon as I get a little self conscious about them because they are permanent. I am learning to not worry so much about what others think and to see myself through Gods eyes. Dreads are helping me step into my identity which is a daughter of the King…who likes dreads!

So I’ll keep you posted on the journey!! Let me know what you think!!