So my bff from high school moved to New York to go to college once we graduated and hasn’t been back since except for holidays. She is now living in DC and doesn’t think she’ll ever move back here. Good for her I say, but I miss her. The cool thing is that we can pick up where we left off and chat for hours when we see each other. I forget sometimes by not being with her for such long periods of time why we were best friends but am reminded very quickly after bonding over a cup of coffee at our fave café and talking about our boys, clothes, life, work, our moms, etc. It was so fun to be with her again. To be with someone who knows how I used to be and can see how I am now, how I have grown and changed and won’t judge me but loves me for who I am. The journey of life has taken us down different paths completely but that’s okay we can still be friends. I cherish our moments together.
I remember how we used to finish each others sentences, when shopping we’d pick the same piece of clothing without even knowing it. We used to say that we’ll be best friends forever, move to New York city, our kids would be best friends, and that when we are old ladies we’d live right next to each other. Although I don’t know if any of that will happen I do hope we are still friends when we are old ladies!!
You know you have a true friend when after being graduated from high school for 7 years now we are still in touch and make an effort to see each other. I don’t talk to anyone else from high school except for my bff. Love you Andi!!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
So many changes...
Noni is just growing up so fast. I can not believe how much she is going through right now. She is getting teeth in like all the time. Shes getting over a little cold. She is starting to say words like uh oh, ba-bye, hi, mommy and mama, dada, and la you. She is walking great but starting to run and she still falls a lot. Shes starting to do steps really well. She can walk down one with out holding on and with out falling. She understands so much of what I say and wants to follow the instructions that I give her. She wants to help me with everything which makes it take twice as long. She is starting to love books and really sits and looks at the pictures. Her hair is getting so long. We are not weaning yet but it is being thought about. (bitter sweet) She is just changing so much right in front of my eyes. Its amazing and beautiful to see.
I write this post though to express my empathy for her. She is going through so much and I forget that sometimes. I want to remember how hard it must be for her to not be able to express her opinion or communicate easily. I sort of know what she wants but sometimes I just don't. She doesn't understand why I want her to do something or why she can't do something else. She is curious, adventurous, and wants to do everything mommy does.
It is my goal as a mom to respect my children and their opinion. To validate every emotion good, bad, and ugly. Even at this young age she has a right to be heard and accepted. I read in one of the Sears books that it is okay to cry and get the emotion out. Just like you would for an adult, you let them cry but you are there to comfort them, not shush them.
I find myself allowing certain things Nonah does to bother me when I am around certain people, specifically the older generation, because I feel like they think Im not disciplining her enuogh. I feel like they are "right" when I am with them. I forget that wait a minute she is a person with feelings and opinions and has every right to not want to sit in the cart. Shes a toddler of course she wants to touch everything. The idea of talking to your child and telling them what the plan is instead of simply making them do it is so new to my mom. Communication is key in every relationship including parent child relationships. Then the whole spoiled thing...so what if she is spoiled shes my daughter and I can spoil her if I want to. Right?
I am so thankful that Peter is on the same page and is so sensitive to her. I come home after times of confusion and he brings me back to what we believe and have decided to do as parents. I love that he always makes me feel better. And I love my Noni girl!!
I write this post though to express my empathy for her. She is going through so much and I forget that sometimes. I want to remember how hard it must be for her to not be able to express her opinion or communicate easily. I sort of know what she wants but sometimes I just don't. She doesn't understand why I want her to do something or why she can't do something else. She is curious, adventurous, and wants to do everything mommy does.
It is my goal as a mom to respect my children and their opinion. To validate every emotion good, bad, and ugly. Even at this young age she has a right to be heard and accepted. I read in one of the Sears books that it is okay to cry and get the emotion out. Just like you would for an adult, you let them cry but you are there to comfort them, not shush them.
I find myself allowing certain things Nonah does to bother me when I am around certain people, specifically the older generation, because I feel like they think Im not disciplining her enuogh. I feel like they are "right" when I am with them. I forget that wait a minute she is a person with feelings and opinions and has every right to not want to sit in the cart. Shes a toddler of course she wants to touch everything. The idea of talking to your child and telling them what the plan is instead of simply making them do it is so new to my mom. Communication is key in every relationship including parent child relationships. Then the whole spoiled thing...so what if she is spoiled shes my daughter and I can spoil her if I want to. Right?
I am so thankful that Peter is on the same page and is so sensitive to her. I come home after times of confusion and he brings me back to what we believe and have decided to do as parents. I love that he always makes me feel better. And I love my Noni girl!!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
What is healthy?
I hear so many different sides to the same story and still can not figure out what is the truth. There is much talk about the vegetarian, vegan, and raw diet and how good it makes a person feel and in the long run it is so good for you to not eat animal products. Our body doesn’t need it we just think we need it. Or we are misinformed because the western culture has gone so off track with their eating habits. Then I hear that vegetarians are missing some vital nutrition and they actually do not live longer than us meat eaters.
I don’t know what to think. I know God created us to be vegetarians in the garden of eden but then because of the fall of man blood was shed and man began to eat meat. And then the rest is history. But what is best for us now? Certainly not Burger King. But now neither is the veggies you get at the grocery store because who knows what was sprayed on them or how long they‘ve been sitting there or where they even came from. You can’t trust anything anymore because so many people are just trying to make money and the result becomes not so important. They loose sight of the integrity of what they are selling.
Organic and local is the way to go right? I would love love love to go that route. I really would but the budget these days on a one income household just will not cover it. And my husband would love to also but it just seems impossible to eat all natural all the time. The other thing is breaking those old habits that you were raised on and that crap food that is just soooo good. Like cheese curls or bacon or ring bologna, ooo zebra cakes. Its hard to give up the convenience of fast/frozen food today. Preparing good fresh food is a commitment and lots of work. Many hours in the kitchen which is hard now with a little one.
We are taking baby steps though. We have been juicing for a few months now which is great for the whole family. We only eat a simple frozen meal once a week. We seriously never eat at fast food places except for an occasional taco bell because we both like it and its cheap. We don’t necessarily eat meat every single night even though my husband would prefer to. I don’t know I feel like we do pretty good. I just can not completely eliminate something for ever without having a really good reason.(ex. Celiac) I do feel convicted at times for what I eat but then I just let go and think we aren’t going to live forever right. I can do my best to eat healthy but I’m not going to stress about the occasional junk food binge. I’m just not.
I don’t know what to think. I know God created us to be vegetarians in the garden of eden but then because of the fall of man blood was shed and man began to eat meat. And then the rest is history. But what is best for us now? Certainly not Burger King. But now neither is the veggies you get at the grocery store because who knows what was sprayed on them or how long they‘ve been sitting there or where they even came from. You can’t trust anything anymore because so many people are just trying to make money and the result becomes not so important. They loose sight of the integrity of what they are selling.
Organic and local is the way to go right? I would love love love to go that route. I really would but the budget these days on a one income household just will not cover it. And my husband would love to also but it just seems impossible to eat all natural all the time. The other thing is breaking those old habits that you were raised on and that crap food that is just soooo good. Like cheese curls or bacon or ring bologna, ooo zebra cakes. Its hard to give up the convenience of fast/frozen food today. Preparing good fresh food is a commitment and lots of work. Many hours in the kitchen which is hard now with a little one.
We are taking baby steps though. We have been juicing for a few months now which is great for the whole family. We only eat a simple frozen meal once a week. We seriously never eat at fast food places except for an occasional taco bell because we both like it and its cheap. We don’t necessarily eat meat every single night even though my husband would prefer to. I don’t know I feel like we do pretty good. I just can not completely eliminate something for ever without having a really good reason.(ex. Celiac) I do feel convicted at times for what I eat but then I just let go and think we aren’t going to live forever right. I can do my best to eat healthy but I’m not going to stress about the occasional junk food binge. I’m just not.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Parenting Extremes (edited)
So I had two different experiences this weekend involving a parent and child relationship. I was saddened by one and frustrated by the other.
The first was at a cute little café my husband and I decided to go to on a rainy day. I wanted to drop Nonah off at my sister in laws but her son was sick so we decided to give it a try and just take her with. Well as soon as we sat down there was a little girl about 4 years old who came running from the back room. She ran up to Nonah and was giggling and touched her face and her hand and sort of hugged her and then went running back. Okay fine that was cute what a friendly girl right? Well she did it again and again and the dad who was on his cell phone proceeded to follow her and stand right by our table just watching his daughter touch and hug Nonah. He eventually grabbed a seat right next to us and started talking to us while Nonah and this girl banged on the window and followed each other around. Sounds fine right? Well if any of you know my husband you know that he’s not the sit-down-and-chat- with-a-stanger kind of guy. We were on a date ya know. We wanted to chat and bond and maybe hold hands and have an enjoyable family time but we couldn’t even talk without this guy hearing everything. And the little girl would not talk to me or say a word she just giggled. At one point Nonah tried to get away from her because she was just too much. Then she started banging on the window so of course Nonah did too which in a quiet little café was really loud.
So…we left feeling very annoyed and bummed. It just seemed like the dad had no say in the relationship. I’m all about gentle parenting I really am. I think communicating and explaining is important and a little give and take instead of all take is okay. But you don’t let your child do whatever they want, especially in a public place. I might not have minded as much if Peter wasn’t with me but I knew it was bothering him so it bothered me too.
Then I was at a children’s clothing sale where a mom was looking for her son. He was hiding in the clothing rack right in front of me and someone else pointed him out to her. Once he came out she proceeded to very loudly yell at him and tell him that that was not good and you don’t do that and you don’t get a toy and they were looking down stairs for him etc. He was crying and she said yes you should cry that was very bad.
So…I understand she was probably scared herself not knowing where her son was but how she handled it was obnoxious and made me sad. She made him feel horrible instead of explaining how she felt and why its not good to do that and humiliated him in front of everyone. I don’t know how I will handle it if I ever misplace my child but putting them down is not the best way.
I have been thinking a lot about discipline these days since I am at the beginning stages of it with Nonah and I am more and more feeling led to not spank. Peter and I are discussing it, thinking about it, and praying about it. It has been engrained in us that it is biblical and necessary to raise well behaved Godly children. So thinking of other ways is new for us but now that we have a child we have become very sensitive to her and her feelings, her needs, and her personality. It is so amazing to see not only how sensitive I am to Nonah and her cries but to see Peter be so sensitive to her sometimes even more than I am. It is so sweet. I just can not even imagine spanking her bare butt. It would break my heart and that there makes me wonder why I would do then. Now Im sure she is going to do some bad things in her life and need to be corrected and punished but we will have to come up with other ways to accomplish that. I still don’t know though. I have to be on the same page with Peter and we just don’t know what page that is yet. This is yet another stage to accept, process, and get through in parenting. I am learning so much.
This article has really opened my eyes and challenged what I once believed. Check it out. http://gentlechristianmothers.com/articles/elizabethp/p1.php
The first was at a cute little café my husband and I decided to go to on a rainy day. I wanted to drop Nonah off at my sister in laws but her son was sick so we decided to give it a try and just take her with. Well as soon as we sat down there was a little girl about 4 years old who came running from the back room. She ran up to Nonah and was giggling and touched her face and her hand and sort of hugged her and then went running back. Okay fine that was cute what a friendly girl right? Well she did it again and again and the dad who was on his cell phone proceeded to follow her and stand right by our table just watching his daughter touch and hug Nonah. He eventually grabbed a seat right next to us and started talking to us while Nonah and this girl banged on the window and followed each other around. Sounds fine right? Well if any of you know my husband you know that he’s not the sit-down-and-chat- with-a-stanger kind of guy. We were on a date ya know. We wanted to chat and bond and maybe hold hands and have an enjoyable family time but we couldn’t even talk without this guy hearing everything. And the little girl would not talk to me or say a word she just giggled. At one point Nonah tried to get away from her because she was just too much. Then she started banging on the window so of course Nonah did too which in a quiet little café was really loud.
So…we left feeling very annoyed and bummed. It just seemed like the dad had no say in the relationship. I’m all about gentle parenting I really am. I think communicating and explaining is important and a little give and take instead of all take is okay. But you don’t let your child do whatever they want, especially in a public place. I might not have minded as much if Peter wasn’t with me but I knew it was bothering him so it bothered me too.
Then I was at a children’s clothing sale where a mom was looking for her son. He was hiding in the clothing rack right in front of me and someone else pointed him out to her. Once he came out she proceeded to very loudly yell at him and tell him that that was not good and you don’t do that and you don’t get a toy and they were looking down stairs for him etc. He was crying and she said yes you should cry that was very bad.
So…I understand she was probably scared herself not knowing where her son was but how she handled it was obnoxious and made me sad. She made him feel horrible instead of explaining how she felt and why its not good to do that and humiliated him in front of everyone. I don’t know how I will handle it if I ever misplace my child but putting them down is not the best way.
I have been thinking a lot about discipline these days since I am at the beginning stages of it with Nonah and I am more and more feeling led to not spank. Peter and I are discussing it, thinking about it, and praying about it. It has been engrained in us that it is biblical and necessary to raise well behaved Godly children. So thinking of other ways is new for us but now that we have a child we have become very sensitive to her and her feelings, her needs, and her personality. It is so amazing to see not only how sensitive I am to Nonah and her cries but to see Peter be so sensitive to her sometimes even more than I am. It is so sweet. I just can not even imagine spanking her bare butt. It would break my heart and that there makes me wonder why I would do then. Now Im sure she is going to do some bad things in her life and need to be corrected and punished but we will have to come up with other ways to accomplish that. I still don’t know though. I have to be on the same page with Peter and we just don’t know what page that is yet. This is yet another stage to accept, process, and get through in parenting. I am learning so much.
This article has really opened my eyes and challenged what I once believed. Check it out. http://gentlechristianmothers.com/articles/elizabethp/p1.php
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
the last post contd...
More unknown. I'm so ready to have another baby but it just isn't happening. Every one says its from me still nursing and if I would just stop it would happen. But Im wondering if God is preventing me from getting pregnant for some unknown reason. Because wacky hormomes or not God could make it happen if he wanted to. Peter and I thought we would have all our kids close together and kind of get it done with. But our plan isn't working out the way we thought. Which is totally okay because I know know know Gods timing is perfect. And Im just not ready to stop nursing yet. I want to night wean but I want to do it gently. I really want to just follow Nonahs lead and let her nurse as long as she wants even if its another year. But Im just not sure I want to wait that long to get pregnant. I do feel some pressure from family to stop nursing but Im trying to ignore that and listen to my own instincts and Nonahs. In the big picture she will be done nursing really soon maybe I just need to wait. See I feel better already.
My mom said something to me this week when I was venting to her. She said stop trying to plan and just live. As much as we aren't planners I do over think things sometimes, well alot of the time. I need to just enjoy this time while it lasts. So thanks mom.
Oh yea, the church we visited last week was great. Seems very holy spirit driven and worshipful which is what we were looking for. But you can't always tell from the first impression so we will be going back again this week. I'm praying it will be a good fit. We'll see.
Uhhhh, this life is so crazy but I love it. Im gonna live it up!
My mom said something to me this week when I was venting to her. She said stop trying to plan and just live. As much as we aren't planners I do over think things sometimes, well alot of the time. I need to just enjoy this time while it lasts. So thanks mom.
Oh yea, the church we visited last week was great. Seems very holy spirit driven and worshipful which is what we were looking for. But you can't always tell from the first impression so we will be going back again this week. I'm praying it will be a good fit. We'll see.
Uhhhh, this life is so crazy but I love it. Im gonna live it up!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)