SAHM

SAHM-Stay at home mama. Thats my job right now. Taking care of my baby girl and my home and my husband. Im going to be honest it is a love hate relationship for me right now. I absolutly want to be with my girl every single day of her precious early life. Thats why we chose for me to stay home and not go back to work. I want to do this I just struggle to find joy in it sometimes. I guess most woman would probably feel the same way. Its not always peaches n cream. It is hard work, 24/7, most of the time it goes unrecognized, and is the most challenging job I've ever had.

When I first got married I had to adjust to taking care of my husband which I don't do perfectly but I have that down pretty good. We really have a good relationship and if he ever needs more from me he would tell me. Then I had to adjust to taking care of my home. MY home. That was so exciting at first but now it sucks. I hate cleaning. Hate it. I enjoy doing laundry but thats it. Cooking is becoming more of a pain in the butt because when Peter gets home Im ready to lock myself in a room by myself so I can regroup. (hmm...maybe I'll have to do that for 5 or 10 min just to get my mind in the right place.) But I do what needs to be done and my home is usually pretty clean. I think.

But the biggest challenge of them all is taking care of my babe. She is getting to be very fiesty. She is strong willed, very active, and a handful. She is always doing something and gets bored of her toys very easily. I do take time to play with her every day but I have a horrible imagination unfortunatly. Im serious. So playing and pretending is very hard for me. She is also trying to communicate with me but doesn't know how so she hits and bites and becomes very difficult to deal with. I really am struggling with knowing how to deal with some of these things.

I miss having a job. I know if I had to work I would hate it but I miss the interaction with others, the sense of purpose in my day that having a job gives me, and of course I miss the extra money. I know what Im doing now is the most important job I could ever have and it should give me purpose but sometimes I just don't feel it.

I need to find my knich. (no idea spelling) Ya know something I could do from home. I can't start my own business I just don't have it in me but something. Thats why I am so excited for our move. Not just about out west but Im excited for our move to an apartment. Somewhere new. I can start fresh and find something to do. Maybe Im not supposed to find anything to do and Im just supposed to find peace and contentment right where Im at. I don't know. These are just some scattered thoughts I wanted to get off of my mind.

I do love being a SAHM but at times I hate it too. Thanks for listening and I'll take any words of encouragement ya want give me!!