Some thoughts

Just a little update before you read this post. I dont remember if I shared about our present situation. We are trying to sell our house inorder to move into an apartment (not have a mortgage), save as much money as possible, and then move out west. (Like MT or OR) The house has been on the market since September.

Okay read on!!

I feel like I am seeing some of Gods reasoning for preventing our house from selling. There are a lot of reasons we wanted to move out of state. Some of them simply because of our deep desire to travel and see-the-world and because its beautiful out there, but also because we want space from family, we want to not be in such a financial struggle and we want to find new opportunities. All valid reasons right. But if I step back and think about it all these reasons could be looked at as running away instead of dealing with it. As I have learned in the past life lessons are not always fun and comfortable and easy. God is teaching us in this time of waiting.

The family thing. We are very close with both sides of our family and that is a good thing but sometimes it seems like there is this unsaid pressure to be a certain way or do certain things and if we don’t do them then we are the weirdos of the family. And although I love being different I also would like to be understood and accepted just the way I am. To have like minded friends and people to encourage me instead of pick on me. I also feel like it would just be so much easier to not have to answer to anyone, family is always in each others business. But being accountable to someone makes us stronger and keeps us in check. So by not running away from that pressure I feel will only make me stronger. Make me stand firm in my beliefs and how we want to live our lives no matter who approves or doesn’t approve.

The financial thing. A mortgage, bills, necessities, and the random things that pop up every month all on one income is harder than we thought. Im going to be honest, it sucks!! But God always provides! We have had to humble ourselves and ask for help at times but we always seem to have enough. Its pretty amazing to see how much we spend and how much comes in, its always enough. But we don’t buy any extras, we don’t go out to eat, no dates, no fun. We just don’t want to live like this forever and don’t see how we could get out of it with out moving.

The new opportunities thing. I have so many ideas of things I want to do, be a part of and I feel like its impossible to do here. Partly because this is where I grew up and I feel like there is no options around here. Also I feel like family members would judge me. I have always struggled with worrying about what other people might think and Im working on overcoming that. I have to go out and find opportunities and I shouldn’t let anyone stop me no matter what.

By going through this time of waiting and trusting Gods perfect timing it has really made me rely on Him in ways I have never had to do before. I feel like I am learning so much about myself and how to stay true to who God made me to be. How to rely on Him not only for my spiritual needs but my physical needs as well.
I'm not saying I don't want to go, I would be ready tomorrow, but I am waiting patiently. Im growing, soaking, and learning so much and ultimatly I'm waiting for God's que to tell me my next step in life!