Is it all my fault my daughter is the way she is? I have been asking myself this question off and on lately. Most of the time I feel secure in my parenting decisions and who my daughter is becoming but sometimes. ... ya know those times. ... when she has a complete melt down over nothing in front of a whole lot of people, or how she won't sit still for even a minute, or she wants to scream and run when you really need her to just sit and be quiet.
Or when a certain loved one tells you that you shouldn't have held her so much as a baby or she wouldn't be so clingy. Or if you would have taught her to soothe herself as a baby she wouldn't still need you to go to sleep. Or when quite a few people ask "so when are you going to stop nursing." Or "if she can ask for it she shouldn't have it." Then the whole "ya know ya really should spank her for that." These are the kinds of things I have been hearing lately. And let me tell it is really not helpful. The pregnancy hormones are flyin and Noni is 21 months old which has been a very interesting age. The past few months have been quite trying and sometimes I stop and wonder, or just cry. Is it all my fault??
Those are all either VERY expected age appropriate behaviors...Or Adults having huge and inappropriate expectations for such a little person. You'll see in a year...You'll see with your next baby, "oh my word she's such a baby! I can't believe I was stressing over Nonah doing such and such...or acting such and such away." She's a baby. She's a BABY! I'm still seeing it with R... Every 6 months I go...Oh she was so little!!!! And there's an idea for you, look at pictures/videos of N from 6mos ago... Look, remember your frustrations then? They're the same. The frustrations will ALWAYS be there, especially with your first. And they'll be "new" different frustrations for each age/stage with subsequent children.
ReplyDeleteIt helps me so much to see how much she has changed and grown in 6mos...I try to remember back to what we were struggling with then. And many times there are some things I remember that she's really improved in (she is doing better with saying things in a nice tone of voice...Or asking for help instead of pummeling her sister.
21 mos, you'll see in a few months is still SO SO baby. 2 is still SO SO baby. 2.5 is still SO SO baby... even nearly 3.5 there are still SO many baby behaviors...I'll send you a fb message with some info on that. Hugs Mama... The 2nd year is HARD. It's so easy to trust you're doing the right thing when your baby seems so happy and appreciative (or at least healthy)...So hard later when all they seem to do is want to prove how much they don't like the boundaries that are part of this world.
Gotta run and put girls to bed... See ya tomorrow!