"The Mission of Motherhood"

By Sally Clarkson

So I am not very good at writing out exactly how I am feeling and what I am going through but I am going to try. I have been reading this book "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson for almost a year. I think I got it in the spring. I started going through it with my friends which was really good but due to busy schedules and multiple kids it just wasn't working out. I kept reading it on my own though. I am a slow reader so it takes me a while to get through books.

I have been reading it every morning when I wake up and have my "me time". It has been such an encouragement to start my morning with this. To know that other moms struggle with similair feelings of discontentment and lack of purpose but to not give up. There is a way to find purpose in the mundane duties of motherhood. Every day is a process of accepting my role, finding peace and joy and contentment in my day and pouring that into my children, my home and my husband. Some days are more successful than others but God is good and always there for me.

Here is a paragraph that spoke to me this morning.
"This task of stewarding children's lives is not a short-term process.
There is no quick list of rules that can be followed in one short year
that will ensure success. The mission of motherhood requires grit. It
requires perseverance. And that often means years of repetitious and
mundane tasks, years of repeating yourself, years of wondering whether
anything you do or say makes a difference.
I think the only thing that will give us sufficient strength to persevere
is an enduring faith."

Endurance, perseverance, faith, trust... this is what will get me through my days. I don't want to sound like I need to get through and I am miserable and can't stand being a stay at home mom. That is not the case at all, I love my life, my girls, this choice that I/we have made for me to stay home BUT I get worn down, stressed, overwhelmed, doubtful, and so on. So I need my daddy God to help me through! I am so thankful I have Him to go through this with me.

Well I guess I got my point across. Evey girl is awake now so I must go. Check out Sallys books mamas or her blog(her button is on the right side of my blog) you will be so blessed. I am almost done this one and hopefully getting a new one for Christmas just in time!
~peace~

Its the little things...

that make me happy!!

sitting by our beautiful Christmas tree every morning and night!

Mama's favorite ornament!

Noni's favorite ornament!

My super fun lights Petey surprised me with when he went to Lowes a while ago. We finally found the perfect spot for them and I just luv them!

Me and my girls!! They make everything funner!! Yes funner!

Tie-dye babes! They are "helping" me bake Christmas cookies!

Hope you are all enjoying your holiday season because I sure am!!

Life is hard.

This life is hard. It really is. The demands, duties, (whatever you want to call them) of a wife and a mama are freakin hard. Exhausting, tiring, challenging. Sometimes I've got it all under control and other times I really don't. I get bogged down at least once a week with all the "things" that need to be done and all the things that I am not doing. I get really down.

That is when I know I need to refuel. I need my strong and mighty God to take a load of my shoulders, my mind and my heart. I need Him to take it all and carry me through this Life. Sometimes it is hard to turn to Him when I am feeling so down but I know that is what I need. I need His strength and His love to fill me up.
I was going to write in the first paragraph that being a christian adds so much more pressure and stress to mamahood and in some ways it does but the truth is that being a christian is what gets me through. Having Christ as my savior gives me the freedom and peace in life that I other wise would not have. When I humble myself and talk to Him about my struggles, let go of the pressures of life, and ask for forgiveness for my sins it is like nothing else. I am instantly at peace. Instantly lightened and my perspective on things is instantly changed. I would not be able to do life without Him. He is my everything!

I also would not be able to do this life with out my best friend, my lover, my soul mate, my life partner Petey. He is amazing and wonderful and the best daddy to our girls. He is not perfect but he is pretty close. ;) No really, I don't know what I would do without him.

So I am sharing all this to hopefully encourage someone. Life is hard. Whether you are a wife or a mama or neither it is hard. But we don't have to go through it alone, God is always there for us, He is just waiting for you to call out to Him! Be blessed!

I luv watching my one year old play!

and my 3 year old! :)

there he is, my Petey!

Some cold weather hiking!

19 weeks and the bump is here!

Birthday Girl

My Evey girl is 1!I can't really believe it! What an amazing year it has been. Totally enjoying seeing Evey grow into her own little being and her personality is certainly coming out. She is so fun and spunky and is such an amazing part of this family! Heres some pics of our celebration!

So in Love....

with these two girlies!! They are so special!!

Mama's Issues

I can't even believe I am pregnant with my 3rd baby. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with my first like it was yesterday. The excitement and nervousness of all the unknown of what was to come. It was such a fun time of anticipation. We knew our world was about to be rocked but we did not know how much.

The second time was exciting too but different. I was worried about Noni and how she would handle it. I felt guilty that she wasn't going to be our #1 anymore and that she would have to share mommy and daddy. But she was such a trooper and has done an amazing job adjusting. She loves her sister so much and tells her that all the time. Its so sweet to see them together. I was also guilty for baby #2 and that she wasn't going to get the same one on one attention as Nonah got because of having two babies to take care of. I soon accepted the fact that each baby has their own story and experiences and that it is ok. That they will be glad to have each other some day no matter how hard the adjustment is.

THIS time around I'm not worried about much when it comes to the pregnancy and birth I just want to savor every single moment and not rush it. I have a tendancy to do that. I am always looking forward to the next big thing. The next event and I want to slow down and just enjoy everything. Even the slow boring days of being at home and doing nothing but entertaining my girls. I struggle with being at home, I like to go out and see people and do things. I feel lazy and unpurposeful when I stay home all day.

I always end up comparing myself to other mamas who do stay home almost every day and I envy that contentment that they have. It seems like all they need is to be a mama and they are completely happy. I know every mama has their "issues" but some seem to really have it all together.

There's always something to worry about when it comes to kids whether its the question of are we eating healthy, do I let her watch too much TV, am I spending enough time with each of them, do I provide enough enriching experiences, am I setting a good enough example, am I teaching them enough about God and His love? Then there's the whole vaccine debate which I could wonder about forever and homeschooling don't even get me started on that. Its still a few years away and I am already doubting myself. The truth is there is always something to worry about. Something to wonder about and wish you could do better.

I guess I'm still working on adjusting to being a mama. Will I ever be fully adjusted to it? Maybe. Will I ever be completely confident in who I am as a mama and what my purpose is? Probably not because I'm human but I do pray for it daily. The confidence, the wisdom, and the contentment to fulfill my God given purpose of mama to two almost three kiddies. Just stopping and thinking about it overwhelms me sometimes. Its so indescribable the joy that it brings and the challenge that it is.

~Big Sisters~

Yes my girls are going to be BIG Sisters!! Baby #3 is due in April! We are super excited to add another and final member to our family! These girls are my biggest challenge and my biggest blessing and I can't wait to see them with a baby bro/sis!! We will not be finding out what we are having because I LOVE surprises and this is a surprise worth waiting for!! Since this will most likely be our last babe I am going to savor every moment of this pregnancy, I don't want to rush it.

This pic was taken the day I found out but I am now about 11 weeks!